Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Are Chameleons bad?


Are Chameleons bad?

                Over Christmas break I spent a lot of time with one of my really good friends as we caught up on each other’s lives. After telling me new things in his life, I told him stories from school, new friends I made and different programs I was involved in. We then started talking about my future plans, which is not my favorite subject for the time being. You see, I have been having a lot of trouble with making decisions lately. When I am faced with a choice I like to take all things into account and one aspect that really has a tremendous amount of pull is my relationships with other people. So, as I am telling my friend about two awesome opportunities I have to choose between, I am also expressing my mixed feelings. The majority of these mixed feelings come from how my relationships with close friends will change based on my decision. As we are deep into this conversation and my stress level is at an all-time high, my friend stops me and says, “Kayla, the reason you are having so much trouble with this decision is because you have such a wide variety of friends and that is because you have multiple personalities. You are a chameleon and you change with the group of people you are around.” Ok just to give you some insight, the decision I have to make involves me doing two COMPLETELY different things. Therefore, the types of people my decision will affect are from opposite ends of the spectrum. So my friend had a point. He is right when he says I have a wide variety of friends and he’s right when he says that I change around different people. As much as I hate to admit it, I am a chameleon, but is that necessarily a bad thing? I think chameleons get such a bad reputation when really it just might be a good thing. I mean, who decided it was a bad thing to switch your topic of conversation as you switch from friend to friend. Let’s be real. Do you think my very preppy girl friends who love to shop really want to hear about how I got to pull a calf this morning? No. However, that doesn’t mean I won’t throw some ag facts at them every once in a while. What about my guy friends? Do you really think they care about how I bought a new dress last week that was 40% off? That’s probably a no as well. So yes, I may change conversations with friends, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Being that this was one of my closest friends that told me I was a chameleon, I really started putting more thought into this. I looked for other things I changed around certain people. Clothes. Yes I changed my style a little bit, but not because of the people, but more so the settings I was in with those people. I am not going to wear my coveralls and mud boots to work out in, my cut off and shorts to church and my dress out to the farm. That is ridiculous; therefore I have to change out fits around different people. Finally, the last way I realized I change around people is how I act. This is probably the most distinct difference, because around one group of people I am incredibly loud and funny and around another group I am much more reserved.  The difference is the type of people I am with. If I am with very professional people having dinner, I am more composed however; if I am with my best friend in private I will cut up, make jokes and be crazy loud. All in all, I have realized that I am a complete chameleon, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. I see it as knowing when to have fun and knowing when to do business. I’m not trying to fit in and be parts of groups I don’t belong in. I am just expressing every side of myself. Being a very well-rounded individual I have a lot of different dimensions to me. I don’t come in just one style, topic or demeanor. I am changing and growing on a daily basis which means the complexity of who I am is growing as well. Being myself is so much more than one day, one setting, one outfit or one conversation topic. Therefore I am proud to say that I am a chameleon and I do not see anything wrong with it.